Smart Athlete Podcast Ep. 87 - Kon-ick MacFarlane-Hunt - BUILDING YOUR LIFE

Society as it was, has changed and people have gone — I know this is a really long-winded way of explaining things, I’m terrible for doing that. But where we’ve kind of gone, “Hang on a minute, actually, we can get back to having fun.
Smart Athlete Podcast Ep. 87 - Kon-ick MacFarlane-Hunt - BUILDING YOUR LIFE

KON-ICK: [00:00:01] Society as it was, has changed and people have gone — I know this is a really long-winded way of explaining things, I’m terrible for doing that. But where we’ve kind of gone, “Hang on a minute, actually, we can get back to having fun. We can get back to imagining. We can get back to being a kid.” And I think one of the things I’ve noticed with the place that I work, you do have to have an imagination because of the products that we sell and such.

So, I kind of — I know I’ve gone off on a tangent, but I just tend to talk while. But I’m doing a little bit of those people that are listening or watching, have some fun, just have fun because this is quite magical what happens when you realize that being an adult isn’t always about paying bills and going into work. There is so much more out there to do. I hope that makes sense.

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JESSE: [00:01:36] Welcome to the Smart Athlete Podcast. I’m your host, Jesse Funk. My guest today is a man after my own heart. He’s an entrepreneur, health and wellness coach, a triathlete, and a mental health advocate. Welcome to the show. Kon-ick MacFarlane-Hunt.

KON-ICK: [00:01:50] Hey, Jesse. Thanks for having me. How are you doing today? Are you well?

JESSE: [00:01:53] Doing pretty well. Thanks for hanging out with me with your sweet R2D2 thermos or mug. I’m not quite sure what it is. If you’re on the audio only version, you’re missing out on the YouTube video version to see Kon-ick’s nice Star Wars paraphernalia.

KON-ICK: [00:02:09] Yeah, is pretty cool. In fact, I’ve got two of these. I love it so much. I’ve had it since not last Christmas, Christmas before. It’s got a little bit damaged. I was sticking post-it notes to it at work too — I forget things with my ADHD. So, I would stick post-it notes to it. And I’m pretty upset that I’ve damaged it. So, I’ve got a backup one. But, no, I’m quite the Star Wars fan. You can see, where — up there — [crosstalk]

JESSE: [00:02:30] I’ve got, yeah, Darth there in the background.

KON-ICK: [00:02:33] Yeah, it’s a Darth Vader bank. I’ve had it since I was a kid and when you put a quarter in it or what have you, he does the Imperial March and the “I am your father.” So, quite the Star Wars freak I must admit.

JESSE: [00:02:44] So, is the other mug still meant in the box, or has it been used?

KON-ICK: [00:02:50] I’ve used it. I’ve christened it. I’ve used it slightly, but I’ve just — because I like Star Wars so much. I’m known for buying two of everything. But I’ve just kind of gone — I can only use it once and I’m going to keep it separate. I used to — a long time ago [inaudible 00:03:05] we go in maybe 15 years ago, I used to be part of the 501st Legion, so the stormtroopers that go around and do events.

And yeah, I used to, when I have time off and would go and get memorabilia. I’d just buy two of everything because I just — I liked it in a perfect state. If it’s anything else, I’m fine. But if it’s Star Wars, yeah, I’ve got to buy two. I’m better now. The older I’ve gotten better, but I am known for doing it.

JESSE: [00:03:34] So, this is like clearly we’re going way off topic just to start but that’s fine. It’s my show I can do what I want. Sorry, to the listener. So, for the 501st because I’ve not actually talked to any of the guys or/and gals that are in the 501st. But it seems like kits are pretty much identical. Do you buy kits? Do you make the kits? Like, I was like I’ve made like cosplay items before, weaponry and stuff for people. But I’ve never personally constructed an entire suit, so they all look relatively uniform. How does that work?

KON-ICK: [00:04:13] So, you usually get a couple of sculptors who have pretty much watched the films back to back, know exact measurements, and what have you, they tend to make a mold and they pull a PVC kit from it. You buy it from that source, and then you build your own model. So, you tend to find that there’s maybe five or six of them. It’s probably changed a little bit now. There’s probably more people that make it. So, they all seem quite uniformed. You just got loads of different ones; Darth Vader, Stormtrooper, Boba Fett, Republic commandos, there’s loads of loads of different ones.

And it’s quite — it’s really cool, actually. It’s quite a rigorous thing to get in. It’s got to look like the film because like the kids, even for adults you’re portraying that character that they’ve grown up loving. So, yeah, it’s quite rigorous to get into, but it’s so much fun, and really, honestly, it’s so much fun. And it’s a bit of a band of brothers. For anybody that’s been in the military and I know that’s a completely different thing, and I get that having served in the military.

[00:05:15] But it’s kind of the same sort of thing. It’s like, I can never say the word camaraderie of it, apologize for the word; dyslexia just sometimes goes out of control. But it’s that, that’s why people do it is to see the smile on the kids faces. But it’s also for you to be a part of something. And I think that’s like anything else, it can be like triathlon or into another sport that you do.

You want to feel a part of something, you want to feel connected, you want to feel like you’ve got other people around you that understand the thing that you love, if that makes sense. But it’s definitely worth getting into. I know, the 501st is still there. It’s massive, and it’s grown. And yeah, for anybody that is like a massive Star Wars fan thinking, “What is this that Kon-ick’s talking about?” Seriously, check it out on Google, because it’s just — it allows you to feel like a kid again. I love doing it. I just don’t have the time to do it anymore. I’ve kind of got old now.

JESSE: [00:06:08] The thing I’ve noticed is, it seems like — I’m actually not sure exactly how old you are. I think we’re probably not too far apart. But I know like, when I was growing up, it seemed like adults were supposed to be like, stiffy — stiff, boring. They just go to work, come home, and like lack that sense of play. And it’s like kids can play and that’s okay.

But like, once you’re an adult, you’re going to put that away, you can’t play anymore. You can only be serious. It’s like, I feel like over the last 10, maybe 20 years, I’m not sure exactly what timeline but it’s gotten to be more okay for the general populace to play. To be okay with we’re just going to have some fun, have a laugh, not have to be so stiff and serious.

Like, it’s okay, if we want to dress up as stormtroopers and go to events and have a good time. It’s no longer so much like, “Who the heck are those guys? Like, what are they doing?” You know, that kind of other mentality? At least that’s my perception.

KON-ICK: [00:07:24] I think things have changed slightly. And I think we’re probably around the same sort of age. Do you remember, I think it was a Disney film, do you remember the film hook with Robin Williams in it? So, Robin Williams, I don’t want to say anything in case anybody’s not seen it, so I’m not going to spoil it.

But there’s a scene in there where — I have to think about this, because somebody told me what happened to the Mandalorian the other day, and I was gutted because I didn’t want to know the end. He was like, “Oh, yeah, went such and such. I was like, “Ugh.” So, I try really hard now not to spoil anything for anyone. [crosstalk]

JESSE: [00:07:55] Okay. But Hook is like from the early 90s. Like, if you haven’t watched it at this point, it’s probably — I think the statute of limitations is probably up on the spoiler warning.

KON-ICK: [00:08:09] [inaudible] okay then. But I’ll still try not to anyway. But there’s this scene where Robin Williams is sitting down, he’s talking to the Lost Boys. And I remember early on in the film, they’re like “Oh, we’re going to eat, we’re going to bring this feast out.” And he’s like, “Great I’m starving.” And they bring all these empty bowls out. And he’s like, “What is this, where’s the food?” And they’re like, “Use your imagination.”

“No, I want real food.” There’s a scene later on where they did it again. And he’s having a bit of a disagreement, one of the Lost Boys. And I remember him [inaudible 00:08:41] this imaginary, whatever it was supposed to be, ice cream, and he throws it at this kid. And at that point, this food appears. And it’s kind of like saying who is this adult. And I think he just mentioned this in the film, we’ve kind of forgotten how to play.

[00:08:57] You know, we get to a point where you go through the system of school, and it’s you got to go to school, you’ve got to learn to get a good job. If you don’t learn at school and get a good job then you can’t have a good life and you can’t provide for your family and you can’t do this.

And I think you know, growing up, when I was a kid at school, there was kind of a point where that changed where you were, make-believe — throwing make-believe ice cream at each other to oh, actually I’ve got to, like you say, get serious. I think it just changed somewhere at school. But I think now probably especially with dare I say it COVID happening, or what have you, I think people are starting to realize that actually, it doesn’t have to be like that.

[00:09:40] The world, you know, I don’t want to get into a whole COVID conversation, but the world is changing due to COVID. It’s inevitable and it’s happening. And I think people are trying to find each other, trying to connect back to communities. I know you’re in the US, I’m in the UK. So, we’ve got — we have something called Clap for the NHS.

So, the NHS, our National Health Service, people would go out on a Thursday night and they would clap for the doctors and nurses that have basically put their life on the line to make sure that we’re okay. And what was really interesting was seeing people talk to each other again and have fun on the doorstep, that neighbors became neighbors again and such.

[00:10:20] And I think we’re getting to that point now, where society as it was, has changed and people have gone — I know this is a really long-winded way of explaining things, I’m terrible for doing that. But where we’ve kind of gone, “Hang on a minute, actually, we can get back to having fun. We can get back to imagining. We can get back to being a kid.” And I think one of the things I’ve noticed with the place that I work, you do have to have an imagination because of the products that we sell and such.

So, I kind of — I know I’ve gone off on a tangent, but I just tend to talk while. But I’m doing a little bit of those people that are listening or watching, have some fun, just have fun because this is quite magical what happens when you realize that being an adult isn’t always about paying bills and going into work. There is so much more out there to do. I hope that makes sense.

JESSE: [00:11:13] No. I mean, I think it makes perfect sense. And it kind of ties into a conversation I was having with kind of entrepreneur-friend-couple of mine, this couple that run this business, that I met at an e-commerce conference. And I was kind of over the holidays, trying to take some time off and feeling a bit burned out from everything and just feel like I’m not doing enough.

And there’s this like constant pressure of these messages for entrepreneurs, if you hang around in the entrepreneurial world. It’s like, got to hustle all the time, got to work, work, work. We got to outwork everybody else, got to put in more hours. And it’s like, okay. Well, I almost feel like, and maybe I’m simply deluded, I’ll put that out there.

[00:12:08] Maybe I’m deluded and I’m wrong in this. But it seems like that message makes sense for the person who needs the motivation to get started, and to continue through the tough times. But if you’re already a person who has the ability to get up to take action to do all those things, then it becomes like undue pressure. It’s not the right message.

So, I was talking to them, and it largely — it was just like, you need to find some time, take time off to do whatever. And so like, I’ve gotten back into playing games again. You know, I just play on my PC. I played [inaudible 00:12:51], for, I think, I put 80 hours into that game. And then I was like, well, I beat it, I’m done, I played through it. I’ve nothing else to play. So, I picked up the Witcher Three, and I’m playing through that now.

[00:13:05] And that’s kind of my downtime, where I’m like, I’m going to work a set number of hours a week, I’m not going to work more than that. I’m going to have time to play, to write music, to like, enjoy myself. And then I found even just this week, it’s like, okay, it’s easier to get to my tasks, get them done, both because I have a time limit, where it’s like, “Hey, I’m only going to work so many hours a day, I’m not going to just drag into the evening.

But then also like having that time to rest, both in not working and in doing something enjoyable, then like you’re more refreshed and ready to actually work instead of just grinding all the time and getting nothing done.

KON-ICK: [00:13:46] I think there’s a balance here and having lived there slightly. So, I was with my wife for 10 years, married for six years. And during this period, probably maybe the last six years of us being together, I would work, work work, the risk of sounding like Rihanna; work, work, work all the time. Because I had this conception of what I needed to do and I wanted to provide for my family. I wanted my kids to have the best life that they could.

I wanted her to have the best life she could. I wanted selfishly, to have the best life that I could. And I thought in order to give that to them, I had to work and learn everything and do everything. And I would spend hours sitting at my computer, trying to get something done, and really not getting anything done because of the amount of pressure that I was putting on myself.

[00:14:42] And because I did that all the time I didn’t spend any time with the kids. I didn’t spend much time with my wife. I was not a great person to be around because I was so stressed all the time because of what you see. It’s like the fashion industry, for example. You know, the fashion industry, you see ,en and women that walk on the runway a certain way.

You don’t see anybody else outside of that they look a certain way. Which I think what is great is things like This Girl Can campaign that we have in the UK. I don’t know whether you have that in the States, and it’s showing that ordinary people can do this because you get institutionalizing things. And it’s like, up in my words carefully here, because I’m all for this, why can’t a curvy woman go and walk the catwalk?

[00:15:19] You know, why can’t she do that? Why do you have to look like this? Why do you have to be an entrepreneur that works 70 hours a week, and wear a suit and arrive in a Bentley or whatever kind of cars that they drive? Why do you have to do that? Why can’t you go to work in chinos and a linen shirt or what have you? Why do you have to wear a tie? Why does it have to be like that? And I don’t think it should, I don’t think it should be institutionalized like that. And I think people are starting to break outside the mold. I know Zuckerberg, and Jobs do this for a reason, the reason that they wear their clothes is for a certain reason.

[00:16:11] But it’s like Steve Jobs, you see him, rest his soul, you see him launch the iPad, and what have you, he’s got sneakers, jeans, and a T-shirt on. He’s the CEO of the company, he’s a very successful man, but you don’t see him dressed with a suit and this, that and the other. You just need a few people, I think to break outside the mold and show you that there is another way.

But it feels a little bit matrix like. I think we’ve just got into this pattern of this is how the world works. This is the pattern, this is what I should do. And I think the first people that kind of pioneered, where they do something different, people look at them a little bit odd and it’s a little bit like why are you doing that, and then actually start to see there’s a better way.

[00:16:53] And if it’s something that I could get across to people, that is, have a balance. Don’t work all of the time, you’ve got to play some of the time because you’re doing all of this work to have a better life at the end of the day. It’s like if you’re doing triathlon training, I do a certain amount of hours to do triathlon training.

And it can get mundane, I can get to the point of going, “I really don’t want to go on this bike ride. I really don’t want to do that.” But I get to have fun, I get to turn up at the race and see everybody lined up at the start line, at the finish line, and get the medal. That’s the fun aspect of it. So, again, you’ve got to kind of balance it, it can’t be one or the other. It’s got to be a mixture of both at the end of the day.

JESSE: [00:17:36] Thinking about working and not working and the balance, I try to and I’m not a coach, by any means. But I mean, this conversation comes up sometimes with loved ones or friends or strangers even. Because they know that I have a couple businesses and this is what I do for a living.

You know, I don’t do anything else. That’s sometimes the conversation is, “You do that for a living?” “Yeah.” I say, figure out your ideal lifestyle and work backwards. Now, I didn’t come up with this. You know, I’m not trying to suggest that I did by any stretch of the imagination night I was inspired by Tim Ferriss, The 4-Hour Workweek, I mentioned this before.

[00:18:23] And it’s not so much about working four hours a week because you’re going to get bored. It’s about figuring out, what do you really want your life to look like? And then working backwards and saying, okay, so I want this thing or I want this experience. How do I get it? Maybe it’s money, maybe it’s time, maybe it’s a relationship. But you have to figure out where you’re going before you can get there.

And the thing that I think trips people up is that, say you and I have the exact same desired outcome, we both want — I don’t know. I’m going to try to think of an outlandish example. We both want five wives and 20 dogs, and we want to win the World Championship for the Ironman. To be clear, I’m not advocating for multiple wives. I’m just trying to think of something ridiculous.

[00:19:26] So, we have this goal, we have the exact same goal, but how we get there is not probably going to be the same at all. And I think that’s where people get tripped up. Because they want to say, “Okay. Kon-ick, so I like your lifestyle, what did you do? I’m just going to do that.” It’s like, well, but you’re not Kon-ick.

You don’t have Kon-ick’s skills, you don’t have his background, his experience and whatever fields, his personality. His path is not necessarily the path that’s going to get you to the exact same place. And I think — I harp on this. And again, I didn’t grow up in the UK. So, I have no idea about your educational system. But I harp on the US education system because I don’t think it fosters creative thinking.

[00:20:14] I think it fosters a learn this, now tell me what you learn. Learn this, that, tell me what you learn. And you do that for 12 years and then suddenly, you’re supposed to like, navigate the rigors of life in an ever changing world that’s very fast paced. And think for yourself, you’re not equipped to do it. You’re just not.

And so, I mean, it’s a long diatribe on my part so I apologize for that. But that’s — [inaudible 00:20:42] other people think about that balance, it’s like, what is happiness to you? What is freedom to you? There is a certain threshold where like, more money is just more problems. It’s not more happiness. So, like you’ve got to figure out where that threshold is. And I also think you have to continue to assess because you will change over time.

KON-ICK: [00:21:06] Yeah, absolutely. So, there’s a couple of guys that I’ve been working with for the last eight months, what have you. And I had to go through this process as well, that I didn’t, I probably had a purpose for life. I think I knew what my purpose was. But I didn’t have a vision, and they’re two different things.

So, I’ve asked people this, and one guy today actually quite recently says, “What’s the vision in life? What do you want to do?” I said, “I don’t know.” Okay. Well, that’s probably why you’re not getting where you want to get to because you don’t know what the end goal looks like. You’ve got to figure out what the end goal looks like. And don’t get me wrong, it changes. I’ve had an end goal, gone yeah, that is exactly what I’m working for. I want to get to that.

[00:21:45] And then as time goes on, you realize, well, actually, I don’t think that’s quite what I want. Something around, that is what I want, not that, so it changes. And as you say, as you change, it can change. So, I did an exercise which I call the perfect day. And basically, I wrote down what is my perfect day from start to finish, as detailed as I can.

So, you know, it literally starts at the point that you know, I wake up in my king size bed, my sheets are cotton, I swing my legs out, there’s a woolen rug, I put my toes in it, I can feel the fibers between my toes, I get out and the sun is shining. And it kind of goes on from there of exactly what that day looks like where it is, I’m living to the fact that I don’t know that my personal trainer is going to be called Adam. I’ve got no idea that in this perfect day, he’s called Adam.

[00:22:31] So, Adam rolls up and I put my trainers on, he puts his on and we’d go out into the forest that’s near my house. I can smell the pine cones, and go for a run. We’re chatting about life and come back. And again, it builds and builds and builds up until the end point of when I go to bed. Don’t get me wrong, the day that I’ve written isn’t going to happen like that every single day. It’s just not. But it’s kind of in my head, this is what I want to get to.

If I could have any life, this is the kind of day that I would like to see my life. And when I kind of like do that exercise, I revisit it every Saturday. I blocked an hour out, I listened to — and this is probably the ADHD of me, I listen to the same music as I did when I wrote it. It was more tune, there’s no wording on it, because I just need to get into that space. And it keeps me grounded, that’s what I’m working towards.

[00:23:22] But it also gives myself a break that actually, the two dogs that I’ve got in this vision, I might actually want three dogs, I might not want the dog, I might not want to do the job that I’ve written in there. So, it keeps changing. But for you to get there, you’ve got to understand that your mindsets got to change as well. Because you’d already be there if you had everything you needed to get there, you would be there already.

The reason that you’re not there is because you need to upgrade your mindset, you need to upgrade the skills that you’ve got. And I think it’s meeting yourself where you’re at and being kind enough to realize that you’re not there yet. I used to have a bit of a problem when I was in the RAF, I was a combat medical gunner. And I was the only gunner who failed the weapon handling test three times. I couldn’t understand why I failed.

[00:24:06] It turned out that I had ADHD which I didn’t know at the time. And I kind of — and while I’m talking to be fair, the point’s gone completely out of my head. But I’m going to have to be kind to myself and realize that this is just where I am at the minute and this is the person I am. I do forget things every now and then. There is a point to what I want to make, I can’t remember what it is. And I [inaudible 00:24:23] what it is to really finish the conversation.

But I think what I’m trying to get at is I’ve had to upgrade my mindset. If we’d had this conversation two years ago, this podcast, and I’ve lost my train of thought like I’ve done now, I’d have been kicking myself, been hard on myself, I hope no one ever sees this podcast because I’ve forgotten. I’m wasting people’s time, I’ve gone off on a tangent, etc, etc.

[00:24:45] Because my mindset’s upgraded to know that even great people, great leaders make mistakes. You just got to go, it’s okay. So, there was a point that I wanted to make, but if I’m really honest, Jesse, it’s kind of just gone. It’s just gone out of my mind, sort of thing, but it’s a great exercise to do for those people that are listening and watching this, figure out that perfect end, what that looks like. And then like you say, work backwards from it.

That if it’s, I want to be a multi-millionaire with the jet and this, that and the other fine, great, cool. But why do you want to do that? Why do you want to live that kind of lifestyle? And to be fair, for some people, it’s not actually really about the money and that. It’s the thinking I need the money to do the things that I want to along the way; help people, like put my kids through education.

[00:25:33] Most people that you speak to, the reason that they want the money is because they want to help someone else; be it kids, parents, neighbors, a charity or what have you. It is actually about helping people, the money is just the side that you need to make all these things work. So, I hope that makes sense where I’m going with that one.

JESSE: [00:25:55] Yeah. So, I have a couple of thoughts. First, just like the whole idea of writing everything down, there’s something nice about when you force yourself to write something down, you no longer allow your brain to like scatter those thoughts and interject other things. You have to focus in distill it down to an actual constructed sentence that makes sense of this is the thing that I want. But thinking about also going through that idea of like, why do I want this?

It makes me think about when I was younger, and not even that much younger. I was out of college, I was working at a shoe store, a running shoe store. I met, who is now one of my good friends and business mentors. He worked there because he’d been retired for a number of years and just needed something to do just to get him out of the house. And so he worked at the shoe store. He liked doing it.

[00:26:56] And it was just kind of happenstance that I would meet him. And you know, so we would talk, we’d talk money, and we’d talk business, and we talked about all that kind of stuff because he’d gotten the point — he has all the money that he needs for his particular lifestyle. And like I said, he just works at this shoe store because he likes doing it.

And I used to talk about like, “Oh yeah, I want a Ferrari and I’m going to have a castle.” And like literally I wanted to buy a castle. This is not a joke or a metaphorical sentence. I literally wanted to buy a castle. Like, I discussed with my friend Kevin, I was like, “Hey, we’re going to buy a castle in France when we retire. We can go fix it up.” That is a terrible idea unless you just have money to burn, because that’s what you’re going to do.

[00:27:51] But I was young enough to have the ambition to be like, these are all the things I want, and I’m going to go get them. But not yet the clarity to understand that’s not what I was really after. And some of it’s just validation, just feeling like, “Oh, I want a castle because it would make me feel like I’m enough.” And it’s like, well, that’s not even a conversation about money, is it? Right?

And then you know, it’s like — so that’s the part that you have to come back to and reevaluate as you age because you start to see these things. And if you truly are evaluating yourself, and being honest with your thoughts and desires, as you move forward, it’s like you start to see these things. And you’re like, that was really silly why — That’s not what I wanted at all. Like, I was just masking that thought. This is actually the thing I was after.

[00:28:48] And, it probably doesn’t cost as much as a castle does. You could do it for munch of less than having to go through the whole trouble of building an empire so you can sustain buying a castle in the south of France. So — [crosstalk]

KON-ICK: [00:29:03] Well, you’ve just said it, it’s working backwards. So, it’s like, you want to buy a castle, so my question is like, why do you want to buy the castle? Because you want to feel enough. Why? Want to feel enough about what exactly? And then something’s going to come out, an answer is going to come out. And I think you need to explore that with yourself. I understand you 100% because I opened a business with my wife over four years ago now, and I didn’t do this kind of exercise at that point.

I was just like, I got $88,000, I’m going to open a video gaming bar. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to buy loads of consoles. I’m going to buy a bar. I’m going to run it. And I really wish at the time somebody had asked me why. Why do you want to do it? Or that I had the knowledge, the expertise at that point to say to myself, well, why did you want to do that?

[00:29:53] Because if I’m really honest, I probably wouldn’t have done it if I’d have gone through that. There was a reason why I wanted to open it. And I think if you’d asked me, then I would have gone, “Because I want lots of money.” Why? Because when I take care of my family. Why? Because they’re important to me. Why? And you keep kind of going until you really get to it.

And I mean, to be fair, that was the thing for me, because my family is really important to me. And this is what I want to do. And I think at that point, because going and opening a bar that you don’t know how to run with a;; retro consoles, and PCs that you’ve got to work together, and you don’t know how to do that is very stressful.

[00:30:36] You know, it was a very difficult thing to do. And it caused a lot of stress and took a lot of our mental health at the time. But, again, coming back to that, if I had gone through, why do I want to do this, I probably would have done something completely different because it was, excuse me, money and the car, and the holidays, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But actually, underneath it all, it was I just wanted my family to know that I loved them.

And I just wanted all my children to have the best life experience that they possibly could. So, when I was no longer around anymore, or with their children, and they would hopefully carry that on. But because I didn’t do any of that I ended up being one of those stressed out dads that didn’t spend any time at home, that was constantly working, that would go in on his days off.

[00:31:24] And I became a complete if I’m really honest, a control freak, that no one else could run that bothered me because I will just do it the way I thought it should be done. And, and, and, and, and kind of thing. So, I think it’s really important to kind of stop and think and look into it and explore it with yourself because nobody else has got the answer. You know, and I have this conversation with quite a lot of people. Nobody’s got that answer but you.

Yeah, but that person upset me. But why did they upset me? Because of what they did. But why did that upset you? That internal, that’s to do with you. You need to explore that. And I think the more that you can get in tune with yourself, and it’s a learning curve. It’s never I’ll learn this in a week and that’s it. Every day’s a school day, you’re constantly going back and upgrading these things.

[00:32:10] And again, it’s going to lead into something that I said earlier on. When you get there, it’s transformational. And I can’t remember who said the quote, nor can I remember exactly what the quote is, but it’s something along the lines of, “There’s two important days in your life; the day that you’re born, and the day that you find out why.” The day that you’re born is because your parents want to bring you into the world, they love each other enough to bring you into the world. But you’ve got a purpose and a vision for your life. And when you kind of figure that out, it’s like a complete rebirth moment.

[00:32:42] So, yeah, I’m going to throw that one back out at you. But I don’t think the castle was a bad idea by the way. And you know if you still want the castle, by all means go get it. I’m rooting for you. But, why do you want the castle? What is it that — and I’m not putting you on the spot now.

We’re not turning the tables. But that’s what I’d encourage people to kind of figure out. Go and explore the why and you will get to the reason why you want to do it. And once you’ve got that, it’s so powerful you can’t fail. I mean, you can fail but when you’ve got the reason that you want to do it, and it’s that powerful, and it burns inside you, you’ll go and smash whatever goal it is that you want.

Because it’s just — you can’t see yourself not doing that goal, whatever it is. And that’s the thing that I’m really passionate about with myself. I’m really passionate about helping other people is to help them figure it out. I can’t do it for you. I can just kind of lead you to the water and show you how to drink it kind of thing.

JESSE: [00:33:38] No, you’re perfectly fine making the conversation reflective on me. I always tell everybody, you’re more than welcome to ask me questions. But no, like I said, I don’t think at this point that I am interested in buying a castle. You know, when I talked to my friend Kevin about it, and I say, hey, let’s go buy a castle in the south of France and renovate it.

Now, I should give a little context in that I’m in e-commerce and my friend Kevin is in home renovation. So, he’s got 50 or 60 homes now. And him and his family, his father has been renovating homes for 40 years. So, they have the experience of actually tearing apart an old structure and making it something.

[00:34:25] So, when I talk about that now, whereas when I was younger talking to my mentor about it, it was about self-validation, and you know, feeling like I’m enough and all those kind of feelings that young people have and old people, but especially young people who are just getting out in the world and trying to prove themselves. When I have that conversation now with my friend Kevin more so it’s about hanging out with my buddy and us doing something together and having a good time.

It’s not about, let’s go be feudal lords in France, it’s just like, hey, let’s go like — let’s do something because we love the challenge. We both met in triathlon in this group trying to become professionals. And hit it off, because we’re both entrepreneurs, we’re both in triathlon and all these kinds of things.

[00:35:19] So, that is now more about getting to spend time with him because he lives in a different city from me, so I don’t get to see him that often, but we talk pretty frequently. So, that’s, again, it’s like, a similar vision in that we’re still talking about a castle.

But, the entire purpose behind it is completely shifted, the foundation is set on something completely different now. And so that’s — it’s really just taking that kind of silly idea and placing it on something a little more meaningful, in that I want to get to a point in life where I could spend more time hanging out and enjoying ourselves, basically.

KON-ICK: [00:36:07] Sure. What would you do with all that time that you got? If you get to this stage, what will you do with it?

JESSE: [00:36:14] I’m working on that right now actually. I had a dream when I was younger, when I started college. So, as I mentioned on the show before, I think, I don’t remember while we were recording before I got — we got going. But my undergrad degree, one of them, I majored in psychology, I also majored in math because I like challenges. And I originally started as a music composition major.

I wanted to score films. But I gave that up after — I basically have a music minor. I took enough courses that I, you know, aside from one music history course, I’ve fulfilled all the other requirements. But I gave that up, because I was like there’s no way I’m going to make a living writing music, I’m just too far behind, which was a ridiculous thought, and I wish somebody would have told me that at the time.

[00:37:06] So, my long-term goal, at least for now, and it may change is to get to the point where I can write music for media projects. Whether it’s video games, films, documentaries, and get to the point where I can work on projects that I enjoy working on. And I don’t have to do it for a living, but I have a suspicion that if I can get to that point, I will probably be able to make a living from it because I don’t need to. You know what I mean?

You know how that happens, how that kind of works together where it’s like, once you get past the point of the pressure of this has to happen, and you’re just like, you let things be, but you continue moving forward, usually, things kind of start coming together and you get farther than you thought you would have. And that’s something that I’ve only kind of learned with time and experience basically.

KON-ICK: [00:38:02] Sounds good. Let me know when that happens. Yeah?

JESSE: [00:38:04] Yeah. Sure. I mean, I’ve got another YouTube channel, where I publish original songs. I’m still working, I only started at this — basically, COVID gave me the opportunity. I try to look at difficult situations and say, what’s the opportunity in this? And so at the beginning of COVID, I basically said, well, I’ve been saying for nearly 10 years now, one day, one day, one day, I’ll start writing music. And here, we found ourselves all trapped at home. And I said, it looks like today is the day and finally got around to it. So, yeah, we’ll see what happens. But that’s that’s what I’m working on now. So, if I do get the time, that’s kind of the long-term goal.

[00:38:51] But again, it could change if this — if Solpri, the whole company with this podcast, gets bigger and I continue to enjoy running it, then maybe I just do that forever. You know, I’m open to the possibilities of life because there’s a lot of things that could happen that you don’t even have any idea that could happen. Two years ago, I didn’t know I’d be sitting here having this conversation with you. Definitely not five years ago. So, I think you got to be open to the possibility of life sometimes.

KON-ICK: [00:39:25] I think you do. I think it’s worthwhile having that envision of where you want to go, but like we’ve covered earlier on, it is exactly what you just said, be open to the possibilities and realizing that it’s like there’s a picture I’ve seen, and it’s proven all over Facebook in various different forms, and it’s an iceberg. It’s got the top of the iceberg and it says success.

And then the bottom where it’s got everything going on underneath that you don’t see happen. And there’s another one that I’ve seen which has got — it’s, say something like failure to success and it’s one line across. And then [inaudible 00:40:02] expectation, failure to success and then underneath it says reality. And it’s not a straight line, it goes everywhere, or what have you, then gets where it needs to go to. And it’s not realizing that life’s a little bit like that, things change.

[00:40:15] I mean, like when I was a kid, people said to me, “What do you want to be?” I was like the very first thing I want to be a binman. I was dead set I wanted to be a binman, [inaudible 00:40:26] binman because a binman just looked cool when I was four or five. They look great in those orange fluorescent jackets, this, that and the other and holding onto the sides of the bin [inaudible 00:40:34] and they looked amazing, and I wanted to do that.

You know, later on, it was like, “What do you want to do?” “I want to be an astronaut.” Okay. Maybe that’s a little bit out of reach. Well, actually, who’s to tell me it’s out of my reach? The only person that’s going to tell me that is me. If I want to be an astronaut I’ll be an astronaut. But then it was a fighter pilot, and then it was I want to work for LucasArts and make Star Wars games. Then I wanted this, and I wanted that, and it changed. And that’s okay.

[00:40:55] But as they’re coming back again, previous to what we’re saying is a kid, that’s fine. As an adult that comes that pressure of we got to get real job. You know, and I know we’ve got off on what again, but it was something that Heath Ledger said before he died, and it was, “Why do people always ask if you’re married, if you’ve got kids, when you’re going to this, when you’re going to that? Why can’t people just ask you if you’re happy?”

So, be happy, have a vision, strive for that goal, and understand yourself, be okay with yourself that, that could change. I didn’t become an astronaut, I didn’t become an RAF fighter pilot either, but I did join the RAF. I didn’t become a binman [inaudible 00:41:41] that’s the same sort of thing. I didn’t work for LucasArts but I did go to 501st and I did beat — I tested a couple of games for LucasArts. So, I kind of did those things, I did some of them.

[00:41:51] But the goal changed of what I wanted to do, I’ve got a very kind of clear vision of helping people, that’s my life’s kind of like purpose. I just want to — I just want to help people. I want to help people that have been where I’ve been, and help them realize that there’s another way and that they can absolutely get out of that. But along the journey, that specific thing of helping people could become helping animals.

One of the things I really want to do, and it’s one of those when I’ve made it moments, [inaudible 00:42:22] when you’ve made it is I really want to go out to one of the dirtiest oceans in the world, I need to figure out which one that is. And I literally want to go out and clean it. Because you know, for me, it’s one of those things of looking after people. Maybe looking after people is taking crap out of the ocean so that the animals that are dying and getting extinct are still there for the later generation. It’s the same thing. I want to help people, but the spikes of it have just changed.

[00:42:52] I really resonate with your professional triathlete. I got into triathlon maybe about six years ago now. And there came a point where I went recently, actually, I want to be a professional triathlete. That’s what I want to do. I’m just touching 38 and I’m like I can’t be a professional triathlete at 38. I just can’t because the triathletes I see are the Brownlee brothers, which are our UK team, Olympiad team. I’m too old to do that. Well, let’s be realistic.

I am too old to do that. But am I too old to be a professional Ironman? Well, no, of course, I’m not. Because some of the people that are coming into this are coming in at a later stage. Ali Brownlee, I’m not going to profess I know how old he is because I really can’t remember. But I think he’s late 20s, early 30s, is at the end of his career now. But he’s moved on to Ironman. And he’s absolutely just tearing up the field with it.

[00:43:42] So, he can become a professional Ironman, I think. And I know, I’ve got a tendency to just — my brain does this and why have you? But again, I think you’re limited by your own belief system, shall we say. It’s totally your own belief system. And if your own belief system is negative, or what have you, it’s looking at, why is that and changing what’s going on around you to upgrade that belief system.

If you can’t upgrade that belief system, this is me as a plea out to your listeners and watchers, reach out to me. I’ll help you upgrade that belief system because I had somebody that did that for me. And I’m so glad that I did. Because without that, there would be no way we’d be talking on this podcast. We’re talking and I’m having a great time talking to you, by the way, but I’m a little bit like a swan.

[00:44:28] On the top, I probably look like I know what I’m doing and I’ve got it together. And underneath, my feet are tapping the floor because I’m really nervous. I don’t know who’s going to see this. And I’m like, am I saying the right thing? Am I talking too fast? I keep going off on tangents all over the place. Is Jesse going to ask me the right questions? But again, it’s okay. It’s all right. Be kind to myself where I am and we’ll go from there. And if you don’t ask me all the questions because I’m waffling on, I’m sure you’ll invite me back maybe in a couple of months’ time, a couple of years time and we’ll have another conversation. Do you know what I mean?

JESSE: [00:45:00] You know, thinking about goals and dreams and stuff, and maybe this is the jaded part of me. I think, especially when we’re talking about athletic dreams because I’ve been there and me, my friend, Kevin, we both ended up kind of in similar places where he actually wanted to play pro soccer or pro football if you’re a UK listener. And he played in kind of one of our minor leagues here in the US and just wasn’t quite good enough. Or at least, maybe not patient enough to wait to get into our major league system. Because he had friends who he played with that stayed in and then a couple of years later did make it up.

[00:45:43] So, then he moved onto triathlon and we both came very, very close to qualifying for our professional licenses. And the qualifying standards are different depending on what country you’re in. But there’s multiple ways to do it here. Largely, it’s if you finish in the top three at a major race as an amateur, that’s probably going to be a situation where you’ve qualified.

So, there’s, I struggle with the reality of there is a genetic potential component. Now, I can’t speak to your genetic potential, I have no idea. So, I think it would be poor [inaudible 00:46:27] me to try to rain on your or anybody else’s parade because I definitely had people on that have said I’ve never done a triathlon before. And then like, three, four years, they are pros.

[00:46:37] And I shake my fist at them in frustration a little bit at my own limitations. But it’s like, I struggle with trying to have that completely like, I’ll say, pie in the sky kind of ambition. And then also knowing I have no idea how far I can get and balancing that; balancing the doubts against the hope. And knowing that I may or may not make it.

But the conclusion, I guess I came to along my journey, because I knew from the outset that it would be difficult for me to make it was that it doesn’t really matter. You know, I moved in a direction and if you have a goal, that’s something you really want to do, move in that direction. There may eventually be a thing that blocks your path permanently. But, because you moved in that direction, because you took — decided action towards that thing over a period of time, you’re probably going to end up in a more interesting place that maybe you didn’t even imagine of when you started then if you hadn’t tried it all.

[00:47:57] So, that’s part of the trick that I have. I just — I have the toughest time getting wrapping my head around. I just trust in the process is the basics of it. I tried to just let it go and just do it. But that’s — I struggle with all that because I’ve been through it. You know, I’m here now talking to you, running this company, which wouldn’t have got started had I not started that journey. You know, met, like I mentioned, my friend, Kevin, never would have met him. He’s been a really great friend, which is hard to find as an adult. So, I don’t know if you have any thoughts on that dealing with the balance of doubt and hope, and trying to continue forward with dreams.

KON-ICK: [00:48:52] I think the doubt and the hope thing, I think it is a little bit of — I can’t remember exactly how people word this, but it’s your brain trying to protect itself, you know, with that I can’t do it mentality. It’s easier — I’m trying to think because I’ve had this conversation recently with somebody who was explaining it to me.

They were saying that it’s easy for your brain to protect itself by — It’s like, I’m scared of heights and it’s not height that I’m frightened of. It’s falling and dying, that I’m frightened, not frightened of the height. But my brain is like trying to make logical sense of the situation going well, blah, blah, blah. Because if we go over there, we’re going to fall and we’re going to die.

[00:49:36] So, it’s not the height that I’ve got a problem with. It’s what would happen if I stepped off the edge kind of thing. Again, I don’t know who said it, but I’ve seen it recently. I’ve seen all over Facebook a quote of, “But what if I fail? But what if you succeed? And I think because your brain’s trying to protect itself, you get to a point of going, you stop daring to dream. But, and I don’t know where this comes into it, I’m kind of just saying what comes into my mind at the minute of how I see it. Again, when you were a child, you’re a bit like a sponge, and there is kind of no fear. Fear is learned sort of thing. So, you’re prepared to try anything.

[00:50:17] Yet, when you’re an adult, and it’s probably the conditioning, a little bit of your parents sort of thing. You know, I can’t remember what movie I was watching, I really can’t remember what film it was. I tend to remember things, but not all the important bits I need to remember. But I remember watching this film, and this woman had a child, she was shy, the child wasn’t, the child was waving to the guy next door. But over time, the child became shy and nervous because the mum kept pulling her away and conditioning her to be shy. And I’m not saying that was wrong at all, it was her limiting beliefs going to the child, if that makes sense.

[00:50:55] I think there’s a thing here of shooting for the moon and ending up somewhere amongst the stars. If you aim for this particular goal, like you’ve said, you talked about professional triathlon, you’ve talked about the castle that you want to buy. And at the minute, I don’t see a castle and I don’t think you’re a professional triathlete, unless I’m wrong.

But you’ve shot up for that,but other things have kind of happened. Your self-limiting beliefs is just your brain just trying to protect itself. And I think you have to come to a point where you really decide whether you want to challenge that or not. And it’s challenging yourself. So, again, with me saying the same thing, I don’t think I can be a professional triathlete, because I’m almost 38. So, my time is doing it. You know, it’s over. It’s not.

[00:51:47] I think you can do anything that you want to do in life. Whatever limitations you’ve got, I think you can get over them. Now, I know there’s going to be some come back there and I’m expecting comments on this if it’s going on YouTube of people say well, what happens if this, and what happens if that? Well, it’s like, I’m still going to go with triathlon here.

It’s like being a triathlete and you have an accident, and you lose your leg. So, I can’t be a professional triathlete anymore. Okay. Well, what about paratriathlon? What about that? Because you can still do that, even though you’ve lost your leg? What about you could be a coach, you could coach somebody? You can still take part in triathlon, you’re just doing it in a different way.

[00:52:27] I think we get — and I don’t know whether this is really answering your question. I think we really get transfixed on the one thing that we’re going for. And if it looks like it isn’t going to happen, we have a wobble. And we don’t want to do it anymore. And that’s when your brain’s kicking in. Okay. I’m going to protect you. I’m going to help you out here by stopping you going for that because it’s just never going to happen.

So, you then go off into something else and something else and something else. And then before you know it, you know you’re lying in your bed at whatever age it is that he comes to get you kind of thing, if you believe in religion or not. And going on, I’m regretting this, I’m regretting that, I’m regretting the other. And I don’t think — you mentioned something about schooling earlier on, the schooling system.

[00:53:10] You know, this is just me because I just say what’s in my brain at the time is — I have to be kind of careful here because I did — my wife that I married, I did marry a teacher. [inaudible 00:53:23], careful what I say about the education. So, our education system’s different to yours, I understand that. So, I’m only going to speak for the English one.

I think the education system was wrong. You know, I think we do need to learn things; maths, English and science and that, but I can’t ever tell you when I’ve used Pythagoras theorem. I can’t tell you when I’ve had to read the periodic table at work. And I understand if you become a mathematician, and if you become a scientist, you need those things, totally get it.

[00:53:59] But what about teaching kids mindfulness? What about teaching kids how to manage money? What about teaching kids how to manage a business? What about teaching them social media marketing and that? Because Jesse, I’m sure when we were kids, things like social media manager wasn’t around, there wasn’t that kind of job. But there is now and we haven’t upgraded this. So, I think it lends into again, the brain fooling you into you can’t doing stuff, because you haven’t — the information’s out there if you know how to access it.

[00:54:21] But especially if you’re a kid, well, to be fair, I’m sure kids these days can work my iPhone and my iPad better than I can work it. But if you don’t know where to get the information from, you’re going to believe that you can’t do it, you’re going to believe that you’re stupid. You’re going to believe the conditioning that’s out there.

Again, I’m not sure whether that really, really answered that. It’s just kind of whatever comes into my mind of how I want to answer that question. I think that fully comes to being ADHD. So, I’m just going to finish that question there that you asked of saying some of your listeners are going to be ADHD or what have you.

[00:54:56] And I’m hoping that listening to me talk and the fact that I’m going all over the place, but trying to give value just gives that person that’s got ADHD a belief to know that you can do this. Because again, I wouldn’t have gotten on a podcast with you and spoke to you about this because my limiting beliefs are or were, I can’t remember things, I can’t pronounce things very well.

I’ve got ADHD, I’ve been told I’m stupid all of my life, and maybe I am stupid. But actually, I’m not. I’m definitely not stupid. I do forget things and such, but I’m not stupid. It’s just that’s how my brain works at the end of the day, and everybody’s brain works in a different way. So, you know, what, you just got to take a leap of faith, you know?

JESSE: 00:55:41] You know, so I got a few points to try to speak to. Thinking about like if I were to change something in the schooling system, I was actually fortunate to receive this kind of instruction as part of a group, experimental group kind of. We were, yeah, we were experimented on in a way. They were trying out a new curriculum with us. And, but I mean, we worked on creative thinking.

And I went to liberal arts college too. So, that fosters that kind of like interdisciplinary, how to think, idea, rather than just like, this is the thing you need to know. I think there is value in teaching kids math, even if they’re not going to use it because one, you’re learning how to learn, learning how to study, you’re learning logical systems, there’s value in a lot of these different disciplines.

And especially at that age, it’s like, you don’t necessarily know what you’re into, unless you’ve done it before. Like, I think it’s good for all of us to practice this, but especially growing up, it’s just to say yes to things. Yes, I’ll try that. Yes, yes, I’ll try that. And even if you’re like thinking about food in particular, even if you didn’t like it before, anytime I speak to registered dieticians on the show, they’re like, yeah, you probably need to try a food like five, six, seven times like literally not an exaggeration before you can say definitively, I do not like that thing.

[0057:21] So, I think about creative thinking as if we talked that, then like the ability for people to adapt, would be so much greater. Because I feel like we end up with people that kind of have this learned helplessness. Like I wasn’t given the answer, so I don’t know what to do. I’ll just sit here and wait for the answer to show up.

It’s like, “Well, no you have full capabilities to go find that answer and to move yourself forward.” But, because they’ve been conditioned, in some ways, again, we like to pick on the education system, but that’s part of growing up to not do anything and to wait for the answer, then what do you do from there? And there are plenty of valiant teachers doing their damnedest to educate, actually educate kids.

[00:58:16] I live in a family of educators, my father was an educator, both of my sisters are educators, so I’m surrounded. So, I know at least, and maybe this is my own bias from my father’s bias, but it’s not — I don’t think it’s the educators that’s the problem. It’s the bureaucracy of trying to manage the — where you — everything gets distilled down into, we don’t have time for creative thinking. Like, we just got to learn these things and pass these tests and move people.

[00:58:48] But to another point, you’d mentioned about failing, anything that comes up I like to mention like, often, even if you try to go after whatever, whatever it is; buying a castle, becoming a professional athlete, being an astronaut, being a fighter pilot, even if you fail most likely the consequences of failing are not as bad as you think they are. But like you said, it’s your brain trying to protect you for whatever you think it is.

Now, there obviously are situations that have very negative consequences for failing. If you are a fighter pilot and you’re trying to do a maneuver and it makes your plane die and you can’t get the engine started again, you crash, that has very negative consequences. But just try to get into that, that jet and not making it the negative consequences that are really probably not that bad. They may be devastating at the time, but your life will still continue and you still have all the things to do, you know. This is a diatribe.

[01:00:01] So, I think our brains kind of work similarly, but lately I’ve been waking up with the Lion King soundtrack in my head. So, I’ve been listening to Lion King soundtrack and the circle of life. I’m trying to remember the lyrics, I should know them, but because we’re talking they’re not going to come to me just exactly right. But there’s something about from the moment that we wake up and become aware of the world, there’s more things in the world that can never been done. [crosstalk]

KON-ICK: [inaudible 01:00:32] I think that’s —

JESSE: [01:00:34] Maybe that’s it. But the — [crosstalk]

KON-ICK: [01:00:37] Lion King is my favorite film. I can put it on and probably repeat it word for word

JESSE: [01:00:41] Well, it’s like — but the song it’s like, there’s just like — there’s more things to see and more things to do than we can ever do on the planet. So, it’s like, even if you failed at that thing that you thought was the thing that you wanted to do, there’s probably something else out there. That Yeah, it’s going to capture your imagination and your attention just as much as that other thing did, if you can find it. And that’s where that coming in and saying, yes, I’ll try that. Yes, I’ll try that, like comes in for — at least for me.

KON-ICK: [01:01:11] Yeah, I think some people do the whole, I’m not good at anything. You know, I’ve said this a bit, you’re just not trying enough stuff then. You’re not trying enough things. Oh, nobody takes days, years, whatever. It’s like, I get that, but you’re going to learn some skills along the way. You’ve just not tried enough things. I’m going to go back to another thing that you said because I realized that I probably actually quite sounded a little negative about the education system. And I’m like, I’m all for it. And you did say something that got my mind thinking to agree with you and say, yeah, the teachers are doing their best. Having been married to one and seen her tried to make the educational system a little better; I’m all for what the teachers do there.

[01:01:53] Again, I don’t know what the system’s like over there. But over here, it’s almost like you go in and you like, robotically go through the system, and then come out. But there are teachers out there that do take kids on farm visits, and this, that and the other and show them a different way of life. I think the institution of education around the world — I’ll take that back — in England, and maybe a little bit of the USA, based on what I know, I don’t know the education systems very well for other places. But I think they need to look at it a bit more. So, I remember once my wife coming home, I’ll use Walmart, for example, because everybody knows what Walmart is.

[01:02:38] I remember her saying to me, I took a class today and I asked the kids where the carrots come from, and a kid put his hand up. And I was like, [inaudible 01:02:48], where do carrots come from? And he said, Walmart. And she was like, well, they come from the soil, not Walmart kind of thing. And I don’t know why he thought that they came from Walmart, I don’t know. But she was then trying to educate where they actually came from.

So, there are teachers out there that do try and do this and do the best that they can with what they’ve got, I think — I’m not a politician and I don’t want to get into the politics kind of thing. And it is difficult. But I think more needs to be done around the world. But there are some incredible places that do have a great system where they teach kids a little bit differently. But I think kids we’re not what we were 30 years ago, 40 years ago, where we’re different. We’ve got different needs.

[01:03:33] You know, the National Service doesn’t exist here in the UK. I don’t know about America, what have you, there are different things that kids are today going through that they weren’t going through 30-40 years ago, the system is going to change at the end of the day. So, fair play to your family and what it is that they do, fair play to the teachers around the world and what it is that they do.

There was another point that you made, not about education, I can’t remember what you made. I think I got distracted by the Lion King because I do quite like the Lion King. I’ve got a little bit of a soft spot for the Lion King and I did enjoy that as a kid. But yeah, you do need to try a few things to figure out what it is that you’re good at.

[01:04:14] And I think going to schools a little bit like learning to drive a car. So, I learned to drive my car probably past — about five years ago, maybe I was a bit late to the party for that one. And my driving instructor said to me, I’m just going to teach you to get on the road, you’re going to learn how to drive the car when you drive it for yourself. And remember how true that actually is.

He taught me how to safely drive the car on the road, but you know, from how I was driving five years ago, you know to driving a little bit like Driving Miss Daisy to be driving a little bit like Fast and Furious right now. You know, I drive a Vauxhall Astra which I think is an [inaudible 01:04:57] for you guys in America.

[01:04:59] But you’d think I was driving a Mustang because I’m very confident in how I drive my car; stick to all my speed limits, everything like that. But I’m very confident in what the car can do, how I can maneuver it, where I can get it to. I don’t always need my parking sensors, I know what I’m doing. And I think school’s a little bit like that.

But I think there’s a bit that’s missing because you learn to drive your car at school, you come out and — sorry, they teach you safely to get on the road at school, and then you come out and go and learn to drive the car. But I think there’s a little bit of a gap that’s missing, to get you ready for that. And I think if that could be changed now, for kids coming out of school, I think you’d have a different generation of kids because it’s —

[01:05:48] And I can never remember which way round it is. But I know you’ve got Generation X and Z and etc, etc. I think we’re Gen Z. But the newer generation of what I can’t remember that is right now, they were born with a mobile phone in their hand. We weren’t, you know, we were born with [inaudible 01:06:07], Atari, these kinds of games, consoles you blow it off and put it in to make sure it works, or what have you. Kids these days were born on WhatsApp, or what have you. And I think and I know, again, we’ve gone off on something different, but there seems to be a little bit of discourse if it’s right word I want to use, a bit of a connection.

[01:06:28] So, my son’s 18 now. And to connect to him, it was almost like I needed to open my computer and log on to my game to talk to him, do you know what I mean? Because he didn’t want to do the things that I wanted to do. I didn’t want to do the things that he wanted to do.

And it was a complete mismatch. Because I am a gamer or used to be a gamer, used to be quite [inaudible 01:06:47] because you know, you get these — you get parents talking about I can’t get my kid off the computer, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because I was a gamer, I was very — if you just game with them a little bit, and bond with them, you’ll get to see a little bit of their world, they will love to show you their world.

[01:07:05] All they hear is that you’re nagging. Because I’ve been there, I’ve been the kid that got nagged at for playing the computer. And then I’ve been the parent that nagged at the kid for playing the computer, even though I grew up like that. And I had to kind of, you know, best as I could switch it around. But if you immerse yourself into their world a little bit, you might find — and I’m not going on about parenting on here, by any stretch of the imagination. I’m just saying that if you find out a little bit about what they’re into, they might be a little bit more inclined to listen to you maybe and see what you’re about. But, because of that break, it’s really quite hard.

[01:07:43] For you guys in America, I don’t think we do it here yet that I’ve seen; there are eSports scholarships. [inaudible 01:07:48] what’s that? What’s an Esports scholarship? It’s really hard for a kid to explain that. And I know especially we talked about mental health, and what have you — and I’ve gone off again and what have you. But it’s really hard for a kid to explain to their parents, I want to be an Esports star. What’s that? What does that mean?

Do you know what I mean? And yeah, I just think the system just needs to change a little bit just to include things that are relevant now like being an Esports star because it is a regular job. They’re athletes at the end of the day. They might not be athletes like you and I and using our legs so much. But they are still athletes up here in the mindset that they use, but there seems to be that kind of break as society doesn’t really understand what that is.

[01:08:31] So, I think if you went back to the education system and started tweaking this slightly, then you’d have kids come out with probably a better mindset than maybe you and I have got right now and we’ll just do incredible things. The thing that’s happened with — again, I don’t typically want to go there but the thing that’s happened with COVID at the minute. It’s awful but it’s created opportunities. And it’s really shifted the way that the world works.

I remote work now, at the end of the day, I’m not sure about yourself, but most people do remote work and work from home or they work different hours or what have you. It’s a complete new world out there. And it’s and it’s a bit scary, but it’s also a little bit exciting at the same time.

[01:09:11] So, I think there’s a lot for the world to learn. And I think there’s a lot for the world to learn with mental health and that as well. Because I think mental health has been around a while. I think this year — well, sorry, last year now, 2020 has been a bit of an explosion of how do we help people with mental health? Because I think the world just got a complete crash course in it very, very quickly that it wasn’t expecting to get if that makes sense. So, I think now is an opportunity of growth. Sorry, a time of growth and a time of birth of new opportunities to be honest.

JESSE: [01:09:49] Yeah, I actually have been fortunate enough to be I’ll say work from home basically since the beginning of doing all the things that I do entrepreneurially. So, I’ve been working at home for — I have to think about this, whether it’s six or seven years now. So, as — and I’ve kind of seen this coming again, going back to the 4-Hour Workweek and the ideas that Tim Ferriss talked about.

I was like, this is where we’re moving. And it’s consequently, I think part of the reason that housing is getting more expensive in my city, because I live in the Midwest. So, it’s cheaper than living on the coast. And then people have left the coast now that they can remote work, and there’s all these consequences.

[01:10:29] But anyway, so I’ve gotten to welcome everybody into my world and work from home, and a lot of people now, they previously would say, “I don’t know how you do it.” And now they’ll say, “I don’t know how I can go back.” So, it’s kind of been nice to have people have that realization that you can work from home most likely get more done, than you would in the workplace.

You do miss out on some of that workplace camaraderie. And that’s something that’s not easily replaced. But you know, we’re, we’re all adjusting and trying to figure it out. But anyway, Kon-ick, so as we’re winding down on time here I have a question. Each season, I have a singular question I ask every single guest. This year’s question seems like it will be pretty well right up your alley. So, I’m asking everybody this year, how do you stay motivated after failing to achieve a goal?

KON-ICK: [01:11:32] I think, for me, I look at why I didn’t achieve that goal. I didn’t used to. I just used to kind of like move on, sulk, take it out on everybody. But the one thing I didn’t do was look within. So, I mean, we’re quite new into this year so I was going to say there’s nothing that I failed at recently. But actually, there is. I made myself a set goal for 2021, you know, all the way to financial independence by the end of the year. And as little as I want to read a book a week.

You can see here, I’ve got quite a few books to read or what have you. And I was [inaudible 01:12:09] I want to read one book a week. And we are on whatever date we’re on currently. But we’re like three weeks into January and I’ve read one, I haven’t read the other one. So, a little bit kicking myself, I haven’t managed to achieve that goal yet.

[01:12:29] But previously, I’d probably again, as I’ve said running theme throughout this, kicked myself for not achieving that goal. But it’s about looking at it again and going is the goal — is it realistic and is it achievable? And if it is still achievable, if I do still want to get there, how can I tweak that slightly so that it doesn’t demotivate me, for me to still get to that goal. So, I’ve kind of decided, okay, I’m not going to read a book a week, because I’ve got a lot of things on, it’s not going to happen, but I could read a book a month. And I think you just have to just keep looking at that goal and just assess where you are.

The best thing that I found, it is slightly off-topic but it’s practicing gratitude. I’ve got a gratitude journal up there. And I write three things down a day that I’m grateful for. And if that’s getting out of bed on time, drinking three liters of water, and going for a walk, why not be grateful for that?

[01:13:24] You don’t have to be grateful for — oh, gosh, I’m trying to think, something massive. We have this thing that we’ve got to achieve a massive goal, for example, buying a house. I will be grateful when I’ve bought a house. But could you not just be grateful that you put $10 into your savings account this month, to get to that end goal?

So, for me to be motivated, it’s, if I failed the goal, break it back down and look at could I achieve the goal. And if I can’t achieve the goal, give myself, you know, a really good pat on the back that I gave it a go. And then look at what else is out there and do that. Because again, as we’ve said earlier on, it just might be that I was not suited to that. And that I might have had to, I don’t like using the word but I might have had to fail at that to propel me onto something else that I needed to do.

[01:14:18] Don’t be so hard on yourself. Life changes all the time. And you know, there was an image that I saw, and I’ll end it on this or I’ll just keep talking. There was an image I saw on Facebook, the father kneeling down, and the daughters got a bear. It’s quite a small bear. And she’s saying, “But Daddy, I love this bear.” And he’s going, “Trust me and give it to me. I’ve got something better for you.” Behind his back is this huge bear. You know, but she doesn’t know that, she can’t see it. He can but she can’t. He’s got something better for her if she just trusts him.

So, just trust in the process, realize that you’re exactly where you need to be. And it might be that this goal hasn’t worked out, but it is putting you on a path for something so much better, as long as you can keep that mindset going. And just go along for the ride, because you’re going to have a fantastic journey while you get there. Just believe in yourself [inaudible 01:15:07]. So, I appreciate — that was probably a little bit long-winded but yeah, that’s what I’ve got for you on that one.

JESSE: [01:15:13] No, it’s good. That’s, like I said, I try to ask a question that kind of spans disciplines and jobs and careers and all those kinds of thing. So, no, perfectly good answer for sure. Kon-ick, if people want to get in touch with you, follow you, see what you’re up to, any of that kind of stuff; where can they do that?

KON-ICK: [01:15:33] Best way to get me at the moment because I’m trying to figure out my links, Facebook. So, I’m sure in here everybody can see the spelling of my name. So, if you see the spelling of my name, just type that in. You’ll never see another Kon-ick MacFarlane-Hunt on Facebook. But, you know, feel free to reach out to me. My wall is unlocked and you can read about me and find out what I’m about before.

But yeah, just get in contact. But if I’m not friends with you on Facebook, and you do send me a message because people do, just bear in mind that goes into my requested folder. So, I’m not ignoring you, it might just take me a minute to realize that it’s in there. But yeah, please absolutely reach out to me on Facebook. I’d love to talk.

JESSE: [01:16:08] Sounds good. Thanks for hanging out with me today.

KON-ICK: [01:16:11] Mate, thanks for having me. I’ve really, really enjoyed it. And I hope we get to do it again one day.

JESSE: [01:16:15] Absolutely.

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